Slothy meets cute boy, hilarity neglects to ensue

Hi all - I’m just busy. My sister had a baby, my roommate’s dad had a heart attack and I’m trying to learn Spanish. That’s a lot! Until I have more time I’ll tide you over with the latest romantic folly.

Smartypants McWanker writes:

Slothy,

This may be the strangest e-mail you’ve ever received
if you’re not the Slothy I met after the concert a
couple of weeks ago. It may be, even if you are. There
aren’t many Sloths in the Boston area, so I’m taking a
chance that you’re the one. If you are, I’ve been
thinking about you and hope to reconnect. If you’re
not, I apologize for the odd intrusion.

Smarty

Slothy McCravedforattention writes:

Hi, yes, that’s me. Your email is strange and thrilling. I always assume myself to be almost totally invisible - like, in order for anyone to remember me there would have to be fisticuffs or teleportation involved. Something really dramatic. Otherwise I slip right off the brain. How have you been? I’ve been listening to Yellfire way too much since the show. I’m trying to stay away from “East to the West” so I don’t get sick of it because that would be a tragedy.

My sister had a baby yesterday!

So what’s up? Gimme the skinny.

-Slothy

Smartypants McWanker writes:

Hi Slothy. Thanks for writing back. Congratulations on
your new niece/nephew. And thanks to your parents for
giving you such an unusual name!

Just because you have a reserved personality doesn’t
mean people won’t remember you. At least it didn’t
mean it for me.

Now that I know you are the Slothy I met, I feel the
need to tell you, so you won’t feel misled, that I’m
married. That’s probably why it seemed “proper” not to
ask for your contact info when we spoke, to treat it
as a nice moment and essentially forget you. But I
haven’t. I think we have a lot in common and was sad
at the idea of never seeing you again.

Sorry for the torturous and melodramatic explanation.
I’d just like the chance to get to know you better. I
wonder if you’d like having lunch with me sometime
next week.

Smarty

Slothy McNotthatdesperate writes:

Well, it’s good that you said. And while I won’t make any assumptions about your intentions as you understand them or about your marriage, I do feel it’s safe to assume that your wife has no idea that you emailed me. And I’ve had enough of *that* noise to last me ten lifetimes.

Goodbye!

-Sloth

Ech! Ech! I speet on you!! Why are people so gross??