Nicole Kidman Goes Natural

No botulism for baby!

Exhibit A: November ‘07

Exhibit B:  February ‘08

Holy shit, she looks so much better without that crap in her face. Way to go Nicole! Woo!

Reunion! *Now with important updates*

Tomorrow night I am going to meet Penny’s first foster mom, Sarah. We have spoken on the phone and by email a lot, but Penny was with another lady, Gladys, when I actually picked her up from her Waggytail foster home on the Lower East Side…almost a year ago now!

Sarah is bringing her dog Roo over to play as well. Roo has no front paws but a whole lotta spunk. Chihuahua play time!

In other, not so good news, it looks as though “Where the Wild Things Are” is being sunk, possibly because it’s ……..too cool? Let’s hope Spike Jonze wins the day on this one… I told Penny about it and she was all,

“Meh. Typical.”

And just for fun, here’s a picture of Katie Jones lugging around a giant hot water bottle for her arthritis, poor dear. Aging is never easy, is it?

Aww.

CREEPY UPDATE: A few minutes ago someone found Slothville by googling “whispering bob saget during sex.” Ungh! Nuh!

TOTALLY RAD UPDATE: We’re on CityRag, yo! WOOOOOOOO!!!

Semi Pro, Pro Sexy

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I have nothing to say about this really except, uh, AWHAWHAWSOME!

Source: A Socialite’s Life

Have a great long weekend, peeples!

Separated at Birth: GAH!! Version

Someone needs to tell him.

Separated at Birth?

It’s all Britney all the time today and the goss engines are clogged with her mess now that she’s been 5150′d. The last 17 posts on TMZ are all about her. So I thought I would do a quick post about something ELSE gossy. Something NOT BRITNEY.

So here it is: Apparently Matthew McConaughy is super stinky in the pits and is planning to gain weight for a film role. But more importantly, it has been discovered that he is genetically related to Beaker.

That is pretty much my favorite picture of Matthew M. ever taken. Waxed chest, stubby arms, and Beaker mouth.

When asked to comment, Beaker said, “I wished I’da known we were related before we hooked up that time, that’s gross! Mee mee mee mee mee!!”

Bye Bye Brad Renfro

Two nights ago I was watching Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines on cable and musing that somebody had to have blown somebody who blew the casting director for that hot mess because oh my god, how unattractive is Nick Stahl? I think he’s incredibly talented, but that movie doesn’t call for talent, it calls for hotness and Nick Stahl looks like a skinny monkey with a hormone problem.

Can you see him in a liplock with Claire Danes? NONONONONONO.

So, anyway, I was pondering that, and then I switched over to IFC and saw that there was another movie on starring Nick Stahl called Bully.

Ok, if you haven’t seen this movie I do recommend it, but be aware that there is a lot of disturbing sex and vapidness and killing. It leaves you feeling profoundly demoralized. But it’s excellent and Nick Stahl rocks his part and I even though I was squirming and always on the verge of changing the channel because it got to be a bit much at parts, I watched the whole thing and loved it.

One of Nick’s costars in that movie is Brad Renfro who I started obsessing over because I was trying to figure out where I’d seen him before. About halfway through I remembered that he was one of the killers in the Law and Order: CI episode “Watch” that heralded the return of Ethan Embry and his remarkable transformation from hot supernerd to scary balding (but still pretty hot) thug.

Before:

After:

So I was all proud of myself for remembering where I’d seen Brad Renfro before and also swooning from his hotness while I googled the hell out of him on the internets.

I mean YUM, right?

Even his mugshot was hot:

Yummana!!

So, that’s why I’ve been thinking about Brad Renfro lately. And then I got to work this morning and found out that he died last night. He was 25.

RIP, Brad. You’ll be sorely missed.

Bob Attack!!

What is

even going

ON

around here???

Queen Bee of the Banged Bob: Anna Wintour looking like you just asked for her autograph wearing acid washed jeans with little bows on the ankles and Keds.

Ouch.

Even I have a bob right now! FUCK!!

WANT

Ungh! I went to see “No Country For Old Men” last night. and in spite of the fact (or….probably because of the fact) the Javier Bardem plays the most squirmingly, teeth-grindingly terrifying villain to ever grace the screen, I am so so so hot for him.

Seriously, I don’t think I have ever been so scared or tense watching a movie and I LOVE scary movies. I couldn’t sit still in my seat and spent much of the film watching through my fingers like a little kid.

HOT.

In “No Country” The Coen Brothers impress with their ability to stretch our fear endurance to the limit without special effects or gimmicks of any kind. And Bardem is the perfect psychopath - the man you simply cannot reason with or evade. The man whose pursuit feels more like the inexorable crush of death than a chase. There is no escape from him.

But look at him in real life! He’s kind of goofy, right?

I AM BESTED BY MY OWN DESIRE.

Also, unexpectedly WANT:

Josh Brolin with a justache. Trust, he is volcanically hot in this movie. Mmm!

I have to get my thoughts together to write my review. In the meantime I’m trying to avoid everyone else’s so that I remain fresh and unsullied by outside opinions. Mo Laytah.

Celebrity Kabuki Mask Watch

First of all, someone found my blog yesterday by googling “pierced pepperoni.” I don’t know how that brought them here, but I’m impressed.

So I’m trolling through the goss this morning when I happen upon this photo of Christian Slater on TMZ. And it made me so sad. So, so sad. Because remember when Christian Slater looked like this?

Ok, he sort of looks like a pissed off lesbian there, but you know what I mean. He was muy caliente. And I think he would have aged well, I do. But I’m afraid that opportunity has passed as he has pumped his poor face full of botulism:

GAH!!!

Can he even move his lips? I bet he can’t. If he could he would say, “Help! I’m terribly distressed! Can’t you tell?” Um, no, we can’t. How can you act if you can’t move your face?

Remember a while back when I started the Nicole Kidman Kabuki Mask Watch? Well, it’s still going strong. She showed up at the premiere of The Golden Compass yesterday looking like this:

Oh, hello there Mr. Craig. How YOU doin’? Anyway, as a reminder, last year Nicole Kidman looked like this:

Also as a reminder, she’s 40 years old.

“I am NOT 40 years old! Say that again and I’ll cut you, bitch! I am EXTREMELY ANGRY, can’t you tell?”

Then I ran into this picture of Laura Linney at the premier of The Savages:

Hi, Laura! Give us a smile, pretty lady!

“Am I doing it? Am I doing it?”

So as I go through the day I’ll probably just add whoever else I run across who is turning into a kabuki mask. I’m sure I’ll find a few. In Hollywood, the only thing more elusive than a wrinkle is good karma.

!!!!!!!

Morning Things

I hope you all enjoyed your family/turkey/charades time. Oh, just me with the charades? No, I don’t believe that. Welcome back to your jobs! To take the edge off, here is a round-up of interesting things I encountered on the internet this morning.

Joaquin Phoenix is an entertaining fuck-up.

You’ve probably already read this, but I had to post it anyway. I love that all the prissy goss columns started questioning Joaquin’s sanity after he got distracted by an invisible amphibian on the “Walk the Line” red carpet.

From Yahoo News via Defamer:

Out of the blue, Phoenix suddenly changed the subject, asking, “Do I have a large frog in my hair?”

Reporter: No, no.

Phoenix: “Something’s crawling out of my scalp.”

Reporter: No, you look great.

Phoenix: “No, but I feel it. I’m not worried about the looks. I’m worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. … What did you ask me?”

So now he’s had to put all these rumors of drug use and insanity to rest. Which is silly, really, because we all know he’s a raging vegan lunatic with a chip on his shoulder and I don’t think any of us have a problem with that. A show of hands. Anyone? Anyone? Didn’t think so.

Next up: This post on CuteOverload made me Google “Coot Feet” because what the eff are those things under the water???

Turns out coots have krazy lobed feet which are muy coolio.

Check out the talons at the end, too. Eep!

The Fug Girls hate this dress:

And while I’ll admit it’s unconventional and a bit loud and is not in any way helped by those bubblegum shoes peeking out below, I’m sort of loving this dress. Does this mean I’m contracting the fug? I don’t know. I’m putting myself on fug watch until further notice.

And finally, your random cool thing of the week via Boing Boing: Rusty Angler Fish

Link.

Later!