Slow Adventures in Slothville

November 12, 2004

So since we have sex on the brain today…

Filed under: Whateverall — shhville @ 2:06 pm

A friend of a friend has been hired to translate a Japanese vibrator catalogue into English. They gave her the Japanglish version to work from and told her to make it "cute and cool." Here are some excerpts:

Realistic Large Straight
Surprising size and powerful volume—the biggest one on the lot! With a skin-like feel and realistic anatomical detail. Strong, firm, deep pleasure for vaginal or anal penetration. The permanent hole are not in use since their size. Available color: Beige, Pink, Marble Blue/White and Black/White.

Put the Small ball in the anal then gradually insert smooth thicken bottom, the top bulge of the Flirt offers a slight variation in the usual standard design, It’s also nice for firm vaginal penetration. Available sizes: Small, Large, Copper.

The power controller is the latest model, has 7 different kinds of vibrations – from tantalizing rhythm of "boo bo bo bo bo" to fixes vibration. Enjoy your favorite one! Add lube a lot, and then slowly insert the Joy Berry into your vagina. You can go to a hedonistic world where you have never been.

Sexy metallic Buzz resembles a penis in size and thickness. In safe silicone. Cordless micro mini vibe fits into the base for good vibrations with or without a harness. The base is relatively small for Buzz’s size, so use a dildo ring for best results in harness play…

Slip this vibe completely into the vagina and feel it go off! "You will bark like a wild animal with strong sensation!" promises one enthusiast. "Orgaster vibe stimulates your clitoris as if somebody really sucks it!" With a unique mechanism for clitoral stimulation, this vibe really does feel like getting sucked off. But don’t take our word for it! Very handy, easy to use, and powerful!

And my favorite:

A Rigid silicon provides firm penetration, they’ll push opening of uterus.

Um, is that a good thing?


Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: