Slow Adventures in Slothville

April 21, 2005

Can I buy a vowel? Or a degree?

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 11:35 pm

Ok, so raise your hand if you do this:

“Oh, my paper isn’t due for three weeks – that’s plenty of time! It’s an eternity! I’ll be all geriatric an’ shit – I’ll have a titanium hip before that frickin’ paper is due!”


“Hmm. Paper is due in one week. Should definitely start working on it tomorrow. At least figure out what it’s supposed to be about.”


*Sigh* “Paper is due in three days. Where did I put the handout? Hmmm. Seems I need a book I don’t have. Well, have all day Saturday, Sunday and Monday night. No problem!”


~ring ring~

“Hello? Hi, what do you want? WHO died? Ohhhh, I’m sorry to hear that. Really sorry to hear that. Hey, you know what? I don’t really have time to talk right now. I have a gigantic paper due in two days and I don’t have time for chitchat. No chitchat! Sorry.”

“…….Hmm… I wonder if there are any Law & Order reruns on…”

“…….I think I’ll make some soup. Man, do I love soup. Haven’t made it in ages.”


~ring ring~

“Hello? Hi. Why are you calling me? You know I have a paper due in a day, I don’t have time for chitchat!! Come ON!!”

“…..Ooh, ‘Road Rules/Real World Challenge’ is on! I LOVE this show!! God, Karamo is so skinny now….and I miss Ruthie……ooh, cat fight!!”

“…..Ok, I’m just going to look at eBay for ONE SECOND….”


~ring ring~

“Hello? I can’t BELIEVE you’re calling me – you KNOW I have a paper due in SIX hours! I don’t have time to chitchat!!!!! NO CHITCHAT for fuck’s sake!!!”

“…..I’ll just check my email and then I’ll start. Ooh! A message from the online shoe store! And they’re having a sale!! Well, I’ll just look for ONE SECOND.”


“Gah!! Ack!! Gah!!! An hour and a half!! Jesus Christ, I’m such an ASSHOLE!!” type type type type type type type type……

Yeah, you’ve all done it and you all know it. I finished my paper 15 minutes before my class. Saaaweeeet!!!!


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