Slow Adventures in Slothville

July 27, 2005

Sodden Sloth. Also Cross.

Filed under: Boston, Slothyness — shhville @ 1:46 pm

I am sooooo GROSS right now!!! Look at me! I was only outside for ten minutes and my fur is all wet and matted in some parts and sticky and spikey in other parts and my algae is drowning and all I can do is lay on my stomach in the air conditioning.

And Dido keeps coming on the Party Shuffle and I HATE Dido!! I mean, not as a person but as an unbearably boring singer-type. It takes me all afternoon to cross a street and her music is even too slow for ME. I wish she would go sing her stupid slow songs in the middle of the freeway.

But everything is slow these days! Slothville has fucking tumbleweed rolling through it and everyone who is left is lying on their porches asleep with tongues hanging out. And where does all this goddamn dust come from???

I am sleeping ON my air conditioner tonight. If I can hang from a branch I can hang from an air conditioner. Some asshole with a clipboard was like, “Do you have a minute for the environment?” and I was like, “I have my WHOLE LIFE for the environment, dickweed, but my air conditioner is on FULL BLAST in my empty apartment right now – today is NOT the day to talk to me about the environment! This is not global warming, this is global HOTTING, fuck off!!”

*From “Overheard in New York:

Girl #1: Ugh! It’s horrible out! It feels like I’m in someone’s lung!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: It’s just so moist and warm out here; it’s like being in a giant lung.
Girl #2: …that’s the most disgusting description I think I’ve ever heard.

–74th & Madison

But TRUE!! And I wish I had thought of it.

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