Slow Adventures in Slothville

August 22, 2005

Monday Minis

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Slothyness — shhville @ 9:28 am

Although, they all seem to be minis these days, don’t they? As fall approaches and I gear up for school my attention span shrinks to the size of a small acorn.

1. Last night I dreamt that I bought a dog exactly like the one above and he had a little round belly and we played around on the floor and I gave him treats and then we went out in the rain and then he smelled all doggy from being in the rain so I gave him a bath and he looked so cute with the suds all over his head.

Considering that I usually dream about situations involving varying amounts of blood and which resemble a “CSI” episode without the “I” and that I am currently reading “Blindness” by Jose Saramago in which I just yesterday read about a woman being raped to death, I think my brain just decided to take a little time-out from the nightly gore already. Thank you, brain.

2. I decided to spend the weekend in Boothbay, zipping around on the boat and poking into the tidal pools. It was the one place on earth other than the arctic circle that was cold and gray and rainy all weekend long. One hour south, in Portland, it was 80 degrees and sunny. I was so bitter yesterday I was crying quinine.

3. I watched “Constantine” last night. YES, I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A TURD-FEST AND YES I RENTED IT ANYWAY. You know, if Keanu Reeves would just be a little less fuckable I wouldn’t have to see every goddamn movie he’s in. (Except for the Matrix 3 – you couldn’t get me to watch that garbage at gunpoint. I still have PTSD from the Wachowski sphincter-explosion that was the second one.) I wish someone would just give Keanu’s face an acid bath so I could be spared any future “acting” on his part.

And then a meteor crashed into the earth and killed everybody. The end. Have a lovely Monday, everyone.

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