Slow Adventures in Slothville

October 26, 2005


Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 9:45 am

What? Stop staring at me. What are you even looking at? Quit it. I had a big breakfast. IS THAT OK WITH YOU?

Today I am going to watch the last two episodes of the first season of “Lost.” I don’t know about anyone else, but my favorite character on the show is Hurley, the fat guy. He’s sweet and funny and jiggly and says “Dude!” all the time. I want my own Hurley. Everyone should have one. Hurleys are comforting. Jovial. And strangely insightful. My only problem is, HE SHOULD HAVE LOST WEIGHT BY NOW. In every episode, he is just as fat as he was in the last episode.

Um, excuse me, but he’s living on guava and papaya and didn’t he mention something about having some serious gastrointestinal distress? After a month of that, he should have lost, oh I don’t know, a third of himself? If I was stranded on a desert island, eating fucking fruit all day and shitting like a champion, I’d be the size of a Sharpie. He’s clearly still getting McCarbohydrates every day from craft services on the set. I mean, I don’t want to be rude, but someone should put that motherfucker on a diet.

I am so caught up in this show, it is sick and sad. And if anyone spoils anything or reveals anything in comments they will be BANNED FOREVER AND EVER I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. The cool thing is, my friend informed me yesterday that once I have finished Season 1, I can download all the episodes I missed from Season 2 through iTunes!! YA!!


From “Overheard in New York:”

Drunk girl: I love scrotum!
Guy: Dude, we should completely ask her to come home with us.

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: danie


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