Slow Adventures in Slothville

June 22, 2006


Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom — shhville @ 4:42 pm

ABC News, bastion of tough reporting and scoop-getting, has published a slide show of fat-headed male movie stars on its website.

Looking at a young, delicious, sleazed-out Vince Vaughn compared to the puffy-eyed, double-chinned, probably-already-cancer-having man he has become today made me want to cry. And I know all you ladies out there think the man is still hot, but I am here to tell you: NO. NONONONONO. He WAS hot. And what you are seeing nowadays is his young hot self inside his new bloated corpse body. Take off the blinders, girls, this one's been floating in the river TOO LONG!!



  1. Was Vince hot? I can’t see it. But Val, Val broke my heart. He was so beautiful. Then, when I saw him in The Saint, I had this conversation with the Mr.:

    Me- He looks…soft. Like us naked, only magnified by a lot on that movies screen.

    Him- Well, he IS our age. Close enough.

    Me- Yeah, but he’s a MOVIE STAR. He should not LOOK our age.

    Then I checked to see how far south my clevage had actually migrated. Nope, I’m okay, that was just popcorn in my belly button.

    Comment by cybele — June 22, 2006 @ 4:57 pm

  2. The Wilson bros. live in Santa Monica & I’ve seen ’em around. Owen was running, climbing stairs & looking in shape. Luke was at the coffee shop, getting pastries, and looking… not so in shape.

    Comment by Michael — June 22, 2006 @ 4:57 pm

  3. Well, to be fair, he DID just get beaten up by his Super Ex-Girlfriend.

    Comment by The Retropolitan — June 22, 2006 @ 5:10 pm

  4. Haven’t these guys heard of things like “diet”, “moderation”, “workout”! Gone to seed they have.

    Comment by Seamus — June 22, 2006 @ 5:11 pm

  5. Lmao @ cybele

    I’ve always liked a little pudge, even in the face. Possibly because the Man’s face is very long, and chubby cheeks round him out nicely. However, it does not suit Vince Vaughn one bit. Poor dear. The Wilson Bros? We HATES them!

    Comment by Tot — June 22, 2006 @ 5:38 pm

  6. The Baldwins? Who expected the Baldwins to age well? Anyone? Maybe the young cute one from Backdraft, but none others. Yeah, Billy.

    I liked fat Vince in Old School. It helped look like a middle-aged dad. Not hot though.

    Comment by Seth — June 22, 2006 @ 6:41 pm

  7. See, I prefer my guys a little bit bigger than me, soooo I don’t mind a big of a puffier vince. If he’s smaller than me, I feel like a fatso! I thought he was hot in wedding crashers, but I have seen some verrrrry unflattering fat faced pics of him. The comparison photo wasn’t so bad!

    And I think Dicaprio looks hotter now, and he’s grown some mucles finally, and isn’t a skinny boy looking guy!

    The baldwins, oh hell, nope, but NEVER with the fattest one, he was always ugly, now he’s just fat and ugly. Alec was always the hot one, and he’s aged and puffed… shame.

    Comment by Jamie — June 22, 2006 @ 8:52 pm

  8. Ah, what’s a little weight when you get older? You work hard, you play hard, you put on a little weight here and there. No one lives forever and I respect the pudge and the puffs for the most part. As long as they don’t get face-lifts. There can’t possibly be anything more grotesque than face-lifts, which I see you have already covered.

    Comment by Zelda — June 26, 2006 @ 8:44 pm

  9. Billy Baldwin was always the best looking of them anyway, but I never knew Vince Vaughn used to be so good looking.Shame it’s all gone downhill now.

    Comment by tracy — June 27, 2006 @ 10:51 am

  10. […] I wasn’t even going to bother posting today, but I saw this picture while dredging for celebrity gossip and I HAD to share it with you. Remember the brief conversation we had back in June about celebrity fatheads? Well, here’s your follow-up. Val Kilmer at the New York premiere of “Deja Vu” (which, incidentally, looks SO bad to me, but whatever). […]

    Pingback by Huge Melon Kilmer « Slow Adventures in Slothville — November 22, 2006 @ 5:15 pm

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