Slow Adventures in Slothville

August 14, 2006

Monday Shoe Shot

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Shoes — shhville @ 5:36 pm

Just a quick reminder: some design concepts should be kept on the inside.

First up, the floppy bow. Now some people can rock the floppy bow and some people can’t. Case in point:

Oh, Betty. We know you didn’t vote because you forgot it was election day, and you didn’t even know who was running, and you had to go to the gynecologist, but girl! You are workin’ that patriotism like a champ! Way to go! On the other hand….

Ohhhhhhhh, Rosanna…….. Aidan Quinn is all, “If you don’t get that ratty piece of shit off your head right NOW, there is no way I’m letting you on my Chinese noodle delivery moped, Susan.”

Which brings us to Missoni and their $600 floppy bow wedge.

Whaaaaaaaa? What is even going on here? It’s a zigzaggy, rainbow frumpfest!

Notice how the knotted dish towel bow is all crooked like, “Look at me! I’m sporty and fun and I don’t NEED to be on straight!” Oy. Where’s Aidan Quinn when you need him?

Gah! Tssst!! (Yanking hand back) Some people just don’t age as well as others…. Never mind, Mr. Quinn, sorry to bother.

Ok, the inspiration for this next design seems pretty obvious to me. Are you sitting down? You should sit. Some of these images are so cute that they cause instant leg crumpling.

Oh! The nose slurp! Yee-ah!!

Uh! This wistful gazing into the distance is Killing. Us.

(Lifted from Cute Overload)

Uhhhhhh!! Don’t you just want to presssssssssss your thumb down on that little nose and see if the tongue comes out farther? And in the interest of equal species opportunity:

(Also lifted from C.O.)

And yet, this precious-to-the-point-of-absurdity inspiration goes terribly awry in the hands of Christian Lacroix.

One thousand twenty-four dollars? Really? I’d rather have a dog with NO tongue than pay for these retarded, no-reason-to-have-a-buckle boots. With a hot pink tab and a red heel? Yeah, I’m gonna say it again. REALLY?? Are ya sure about that?

Ok, Christian. Was I wrong about your inspiration? Did you actually get some twink’s tongue stuck in your belt buckle in the men’s room, sparking that lightbulb over your head?

Because that’s what it looks like.

Happy Monday everyone!



  1. Are designers so clueless, or so completely bereft of real ideas, that these lame offerings are the best they can do? Some poor broads with more dollars than sense will actually wear these dawgs.

    I’d totally wear the cat or dogs, though. As shoulder accessories, for easy snorgling access.

    Nice hunting, Sloth-Ra.

    Comment by cybele — August 14, 2006 @ 6:49 pm

  2. It seems the cat got my tongue. I’m speechless.

    Comment by Aimee — August 14, 2006 @ 7:18 pm

  3. How totally shameless! Especially ruining a perfectly good black boot with not only a buckle, but a pink buckle? Just not the place to accesorize. (sigh) Some people never learn. Luckily we have you to educate the pubic on these horrors of footwear.

    Comment by Vince — August 14, 2006 @ 8:29 pm

  4. Yep. I’m all about pubic education.

    Comment by shhville — August 14, 2006 @ 8:39 pm

  5. I’m thinking this boot came from a bet. One guy bet the other he could design something SO fugly NO ONE would buy it, and the other bet that since there’s a designer name on it that it’ll sell just fine.

    Comment by Serra — August 15, 2006 @ 1:42 am

  6. Suh. I didn’t even get a guffaw at my bad cat-tongue joke? Fine. WhatEVER!

    Comment by Aimee — August 15, 2006 @ 4:07 am

  7. Oh, Aimee…. I laughed.

    Inside, where it counts.

    Comment by cybele — August 15, 2006 @ 5:02 pm

  8. Yikes. Those are atrocious. Since it is 2006, neon colors have lost their stranglehold on America. Maybe Lacroix is trying to bring back neon clothing and jams?

    Comment by Seth — August 15, 2006 @ 5:13 pm

  9. Seth–hang onto your hat–I read somewhere that the 80s “fashions” are making a comeback. Yikes!

    Comment by Aimee — August 15, 2006 @ 6:09 pm

  10. I liked Roseanna Arquette with that bow in her hair. Aidan Quinn’s suspenders on the other hand…

    Comment by Michael — August 15, 2006 @ 6:26 pm

  11. You know, I looked at the picture of Aidan as he is now and thought “Hey, he’s looking pretty good, I’d still do him.”

    Hi, my name is Julie and I like older men.

    Comment by Julie — August 15, 2006 @ 6:47 pm

  12. Hiiiiiiii, Julie.

    And 80’s fashion IS back people. Two words: SKINNY JEANS.

    Comment by shhville — August 15, 2006 @ 7:04 pm

  13. De shoes dey are very ugly indeed.

    But the little puggy made me feel all warm and squishy. 🙂

    Comment by jag — August 15, 2006 @ 7:05 pm

  14. UGH!

    Comment by Inanna — August 15, 2006 @ 10:57 pm

  15. I HATE SKINNY JEANS! Please, say it isn’t so…

    Comment by Aimee — August 16, 2006 @ 4:26 am

  16. Oh, it is SO so.

    Comment by shhville — August 16, 2006 @ 1:26 pm

  17. The Internet has brought the world of shopping to the fingertips of just about everyone. Long gone are the days of

    driving from shop to shop, wasting precious time and petrol just to find that one particular item you’ve been searching

    for in the size you need. In this case, we’re referring to shoes.

    Comment by merrell shoe — March 2, 2007 @ 11:00 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: