Slow Adventures in Slothville

August 17, 2006

Vast Improvement (and “Project Runway” spoiler)

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Slothyness — shhville @ 3:21 pm

Goals achieved in the last 24 hours:

  • Final exams: 1
  • Project Runway viewage: 1
  • Orgasms: 3
  • Thai food ingestion: totally.

It’s a better dayyyyyyyyyyyyy!

*Spoiler alert!* (Except it’s really only a spoiler if you didn’t watch the show last night LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.)

Alison!! Our sweet ray of sunshine is off the show. She’s gone home now to dry her tears on the manes of her “My Little Pony” dolls and play her favorite board game, “What Will I Be?” There are four possibilities: a nurse, a teacher, a secretary or a mom. No more fashion designing for Alison. Good luck to her!

But in all seriousness, HOW THE FUCK are Vincent and Angela still on the show while Alison is kicked off? HOWWWWWWWW? Vincent’s dress was FALLING TO PIECES on the runway. Angela is Fug McPuffyskirt. Alison had so much talent but I guess if you have to get kicked off the show it’s best to be able to say, “I lost because I couldn’t make a dress out of trash.” I like Michael and I’m glad he won the challenge but Jeffery, he of the weak chin and ill-advised neck tattoo should have won. I mean, it’s nice that Michael made a shawl thing out of a plastic bag or whatever, but Jeffery made an actual dress with dyed newspaper and a belt and everything. It was so cool.

And what is with Vincent and all the sex talk?? He chattered through the whole show about how his ridiculous, stapled-together trash dress “got him off” and “turned him on” and all this grody sex talk. SHUT UP VINCENT! You and your taut ass cheeks need to go away as soon as humanly possible. And everyone hates Laura – what’s with that? I’m sure she’s an intimidating woman, but those queens can be so bitchy! Laura is my second favorite after Michael. I can’t wait for Kayne to GO. Imagine if he got to the final three, though? THAT would be a hysterical runway show at Fashion Week. Enough sequins and fake pearls and tulle to sink a parade float right into the concrete. Ok, never mind, I want him to stay.

Ok, thanks for listening, I had to get that all out of my system. For the best of the PR recaps, go to Fourfour on Friday (although he has already called bullshit on Alison’s elimination).
*Spoiler alert lifted!*

And now for some news and “news.”

And that’s the rundown for this Thursday. Good luck getting any work done!

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13 Comments »

  1. Hummana is right. I would bend it with this guy, whether he used that razor or not.

    Comment by cybele — August 17, 2006 @ 3:53 pm

  2. Damn, sounds like you had a good time.

    Kate Moss’ guy looks like he needs a sandwich. Or to stop taking heroin.

    Holy shit that ass is big!

    Oh, and why the fuck do I need 6 fucking blades to shave with? Pretty soon razors will be so big they don’t fit your face any longer.

    Comment by Vince — August 17, 2006 @ 4:54 pm

  3. Damn! That thing is inflatable!

    David is so dreamy, but have you ever heard him speak? More like “lorry driver” than James Bond. But I guess I could get over that and get lost in those eyes and cheekbones.

    Oh, a guy in our lab came up with this theory on JonBenet. He paid the parents for alone time with her. I REALLY hope he’s wrong but everyone is tight-lipped on how he got into the house and other details.

    Comment by Seth — August 17, 2006 @ 5:12 pm

  4. Yeah, Beckham is pretty hot, but he’s a total mouth-breather. I find him exceptionally attractive in stills, but as soon as I see him moving and speaking the bile rises.

    Comment by shhville — August 17, 2006 @ 5:48 pm

  5. Wait I thought Conrad Gates was dead?

    Does anyone know for how long Pete as been ferrel?

    Comment by boski — August 17, 2006 @ 7:32 pm

  6. Pete needs a sammich.

    Jessica… uhhhh… does her ass have its own zip code?

    Becks, gawd, he’s awful purty… I’ve heard he’s dumber than a box of rocks though.

    Jon Benet, may they allow that sweet, innocent child to finally rest in peace. I have a million questions but face it, that guy has Jeffrey Dahmer eyes.

    Comment by Inanna — August 18, 2006 @ 12:54 am

  7. Since I don’t know anything about any of the rest of all of that, I’ll just say congrats on getting through the final. 🙂

    Comment by Aimee — August 18, 2006 @ 5:05 am

  8. Becks makes watching football so much more entertaining, specially when they swop shirts at the end. The game wasn’t the same without him the other night.
    With a body like a greek god, who really needs him to talk, he just needs to lie back and look good. Just a shame he has a wife as thin as a twiglet.

    Comment by Tracy — August 18, 2006 @ 12:12 pm

  9. I’ve been roped into watching the last 2 episodes of Proj. runway, so I embarrassingly know exactly what you’re talking about. I hate that guy with the glasses who talks like a muppet and the one with the ugly neck tattoo. but his newspaper dress was kinda neat. (can’t believe i even have an opinion on this shit)

    Comment by Michael — August 18, 2006 @ 3:13 pm

  10. HAHAHA….Don’t worry Michael, I make Warrior Steve watch it with me and he is no less of a man for thinking Jeffery should have definitely won that challenge.

    Comment by shhville — August 18, 2006 @ 4:24 pm

  11. Mike, I will top you.

    Sloth your comment on Alison was hilarity at its finest.

    Vincent and Angela should be going soon. I was kind of pulling for Vincent in that he is trying to make a comeback. But I was fooled too, like the judges when they picked him. They thought he had something and they loved his old work, but apparently he’s got the crazy. Now it makes sense on why he had to get out.

    Angela bad taste called. They are pissed you are muscling in on it’s territory. Angela put down the pipe and pack up your things.

    Speaking of baking, was it me, or did it seem like Bradley was in a perpetual Phish concert haze?

    I actually like Kane. I know he is campy and he does a ton of the gowns, but he can construct and I think he can stretch himself, but I could be wrong.

    The one who is really has nine lives is the former Barbie designer. They all know he can do much better than that and he is floundering. He is on barrowed time right now.

    Laura, sadly I love her work, but not her. Sometime she just needs to relax a little bit. I am not saying she has to love these people, but maybe just a little off the accelerator. Okay I did love her for yelling at Jeff about if he was so good why is he here. Now the question is will she show she can do more than what she has done so far. (I hope that makes sense)

    Jeff, I think him not winning is the best thing for him. Keeps him angry and motivated. He is not my favorite, but he did launch a great line about Bradley’s last outfit. “man that thing is supercalifrajalisticexpialcrazy”.

    My wife and I love to see Michael doing well. Here is a guy who not in your face and all about the drama. He just wants to show he can be a good designer. He has a good eye and he makes well-constructed clothes. I see him in the finals.

    The other I see who just seems to fly under the radar is Ulli. She has not dominated, but she is just moving through methodically. The wife says she is a one trick pony, but I think she got enough game to get to the finals.

    All I want this season is for someone to take Santino’s advice and tell Nina to “shut her jab”.

    Okay there I watch this show and love it. Even someone who has ESPN listed as an emergancy contact.

    Okay. Looks like I have wasted enough virtual paper. That stuff does not grow on virtual trees.

    Comment by boski — August 18, 2006 @ 5:22 pm

  12. Shoes! I miss shameful shoes!

    Comment by varla — August 21, 2006 @ 9:43 pm

  13. I am madly impressed by Boski’s Runway knowledge!

    Jeffrey bothers me. Some of the things that he comes up with are good (I did like this week’s dress), but he’s angry at everything and everyone. I’m waiting for him to have a heart attack on camera. And his little crack about losing to Michael pissed me off. I like Michael a lot because he’s just a normal guy, not a spazz or drama freak like the others.

    And I have to confess that I heart Kane. He reminds me of a good friend of mine, so there you have it.

    I predict that I will someday soon run into Vincent muttering about the end of the world on a sidewalk corner in the Fashion District.

    And yes, Laura can be bitchy, but her designs are good. A bit classy, not for everyone, but good and solid.

    And finally, I expect Ulli to come out of nowhere and make the Final Three. Her dress this week was under-rated.

    Comment by Julie — August 22, 2006 @ 5:04 pm


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