Slow Adventures in Slothville

August 24, 2006

The Count of Monte Crisco

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Family — shhville @ 3:46 pm

In today’s less-than-awesome news, Harry Potter is the walking dead.

Whatthefuuuuuuuuuuuuuck is going on here? Let’s have a pop (culture) quiz.

In this picture Daniel Radcliffe is:

a. High.

b. Constipated.

c. Trying to smile while being eaten by his own eyebrows.

d. Really really high.

e. Wearing a little too much blusher, chickie.

f. A zombie who is a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man.


h. In desperate need of a new stylist. (How about Rachel Zoe? At least she errs on the side of tan.)

i. Near death from stage makeup asphyxiation a la “Goldfinger.”

j. In need of a little collagen already.

k. Really really really fucking high.

l. All of the above.

I’m just saying…



  1. I choose M

    Comment by ESC — August 24, 2006 @ 3:52 pm

  2. psst…found my shoe baby at Zappo’s..but could not find the black patent high heel with the peep toe I actually bought..curses!

    Oh, and I choose G. Natch.

    Comment by Tot — August 24, 2006 @ 4:29 pm

  3. I’d send a belated Happy 40th Birthday card in about a month or two.

    But I’m like that.

    Is it me or did Daniel Radcliffe’s head get bigger or something? Maybe Hermione put a big headed curse on him or something.

    Comment by Vince — August 24, 2006 @ 4:31 pm

  4. Since he got all naked in that London play he thinks he’s a big shot.

    I think he might be wearing lipstick too.

    I guess Zombie, so F.

    Comment by Seth — August 24, 2006 @ 5:12 pm

  5. Awww. I just re-watched the first HP movie where he was this cute little kid. I can’t make fun of him yet.

    Maybe later this evening…

    Comment by Aimee — August 24, 2006 @ 5:24 pm

  6. Dude, why does everyone bag on him for being nekkid in Equus? I know lots of people who have been in productions of that, nekkid, including my own boyfriend.

    That being said, I can’t comment on G until I hear Daniel count. “One pre-cancerous mole on my face, ah ah AH. Two pre-cancerous moles on my face, ah ah AH. Three pre-cancerous moles on my face, ah ah AH.” Or maybe those are just zits.

    Comment by Julie — August 24, 2006 @ 6:40 pm

  7. I guessed G even before I saw that it was one of the choices, so that must be the answer.

    Comment by shelley — August 24, 2006 @ 7:28 pm

  8. I choose really fucking high AND going to one of those goth-esque pretend vampire clubs where you wear vials of your loved one’s blood around your neck.

    He had the lead in Equus? Who knew he could act?

    Comment by cybele — August 24, 2006 @ 9:00 pm

  9. Or maybe, he’s just: a) British, thus kinda pasty, b) tired from doing interviews and performances and having people take his picture, c) going through an awkward teenage phase, d) wearing makeup to keep from looking shiny and sweaty and full of zits (or spots, as the Limeys say) — he is a teenager after all, and e) looking especially washed out from the photographer’s flash in his face.

    Sorry, I know you’re just kidding around here, but… Cut poor Harry Potter a break!

    Comment by Michael — August 24, 2006 @ 10:58 pm

  10. After all, he’s probably gonna die in the next book.

    Comment by Michael — August 24, 2006 @ 10:59 pm

  11. Michael you take that back! You’ll jinx it!

    Comment by Tot — August 25, 2006 @ 12:07 am

  12. Tot~He’s going to die, along with half the Weasley clan.

    Sloth~A present:

    Comment by Julie — August 25, 2006 @ 1:47 am

  13. Michael – don’t get me wrong. I know from awkward teenage moments and I have already taken all of your points into consideration prior to your making them. However, the boy needs a new stylist. He’s not in good hands. Not only is it a horrible makeup job, doing nothing for his “spots” but making them more obvious, but in case you didn’t notice, both his suit and tie are ELECTRIC BLUE.



    Also, while I do feel a little sorry for him, he does happen to be a bajillionaire. He’s got it pretty good and he can afford to hire someone who understands the interaction between makeup and camera flashes.

    Julie, I saw that (as you can see, IDLYITW is linked over there in the sidebar) and was appalled that I couldn’t figure out who half of them were. Who is the first one??

    Comment by shhville — August 25, 2006 @ 1:01 pm

  14. Yeah Dan, umm Pete Doherty called and he’s a little worried.

    Comment by boski — August 25, 2006 @ 5:34 pm

  15. isn’t the first one justin timberlake?

    Comment by greg — August 25, 2006 @ 7:42 pm

  16. They’ve put up names below the pictures now, I think because so many of us were wondering who the hell was that? Amazing how even in high school, half of them don’t look like they do now. Or perhaps not so amazing, given the amount of plastic surgeons in California.

    Comment by Julie — August 27, 2006 @ 11:24 pm

  17. Hi brother Nursing schools 5674bb502f83b40

    Comment by John Smit Jr. — November 11, 2006 @ 12:54 am

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