Slow Adventures in Slothville

September 12, 2006

What week?

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, News, Shoes — shhville @ 9:08 pm

Ok, two posts in one day when I just said I don’t have time to post anything. But this is IT for the week, I promise. I just had to point out that this year’s New York Fashion Week is…….the equivalent of booking a hotel room at the Crowne Plaza in Manhattan, getting on the plane, landing in Jersey and finding yourself at a Motel 6 where it is revealed that your room is actually the dumpster between the motel and the landing strip.

What is GOING ON WITH THESE DESIGNERS??? Ok, I’m just going to give you a little fug recap since the fug ladies are actually THERE at the moment and are not, in my opinion, doing their jobs very well. To whit:

The problem with the [Luella] collection was that — despite including a dress that’s going to give you seven years of bad luck — it was actually kind of boring. After all, if you’ve seen one suit covered in big black and white letters, you’ve seen them all. And we saw, like, four of them.” Oh, good job ladies.
This was the snarkiest thing they had to say about a collection that included THIS:

Um, I don’t know. I think, if it were me, I’d say the problem is that the outfit is made out of the ugliest gift wrap that Goodwill ever agreed to try to re-sell and the pants taper to a MATCHING SHINY FLAT LACE-UP. That’s more than enough problems for one outfit. Oh, but there’s more. So much more.

There’s lots I want to say about the scrunched, tapered pink pants and the jacket and baq and the….everything, but I have to scroll down and stop looking at this picture now because the shoes are making me physically sick and I know you think I’m kidding or at least exaggerating but I swear, I’m not.

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Ok. So, they called Phillip Lim’s collection “cute in a floaty, ethereal way.” Um, yeah, I guess so, but it also happens to be phlegm-on-a-stick ugly.

It’s a mattress dust ruffle. Don’t even try to pretend otherwise.

Pockets? Really? Good one, Lim. Way to think it through.

Guess who was one satin bow away from being the butchest guy on the runway? Isn’t it amazing how one little piece of shiny fabric can make you the faggiest fag in gayland?

Two words: FANNY. PACK.

Two other words: NOT. OKAY.

Two final words: OHMYGODYOUSUCK. HOWDOYOUHAVEAJOBPHILLIPLIM.

Karen Walker’s collection is too easy a target, so I’ll just let this one outfit speak for itself:

I mean, with bonnets involved, commentary is totally unnecessary.

Things were looking promising with Prouenza Schouler:

Hummana!

But, alas….

This smooth awkward criminal came chicken-walking down the runway followed by…..

GAH!!!

A cruiseship cocktail dress made out of an Atari game. Holy fucking hell on earth.

I just had to say something. I mean, SOMEONE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING.

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11 Comments »

  1. It looks like her left hip is winning in Missile Command against her right shoulder.

    Comment by Michael — September 12, 2006 @ 10:43 pm

  2. Go sloth yourself.

    Comment by Dan — September 13, 2006 @ 12:35 am

  3. All your dress are belong to us.

    Comment by Serra — September 13, 2006 @ 12:49 am

  4. Bwahahahaha, an Atari game. Maybe they’re trying to bring the 80’s back?

    No it isn’t a fanny pack because, um, it has a strap and not a zipper, and, uh, it’s canvas? Dammit, it’s a fanny pack.

    Where the devil did that bow come from?

    Comment by Seth — September 13, 2006 @ 2:27 pm

  5. Ahh, that explains the sudden urge to play Yars Revenge.

    The first two Philip Lim “dresses” remind me of nightgowns I had when I was 8. So much material I could sit with my knees up inside of it, and then giggle at my huge “knee boobs”.

    Umm, where are the Outer Banks again?

    Comment by Tot — September 13, 2006 @ 3:03 pm

  6. Call me old fashioned, by I haven’t seen anything I’ve like in a fashion show in like a decade. They roll out all this stuff that doesn’t look like anything anyone would really wear. So I’m not surprised at the massive amount of fugly. It’s been that way for a while.

    Comment by Vince — September 13, 2006 @ 3:54 pm

  7. just because the sunmaid raisin chick got a makeover does NOT make bonnets cool.

    Comment by ESC — September 13, 2006 @ 6:42 pm

  8. The lipstick on the last picture freaks me out.

    Comment by Aimee — September 14, 2006 @ 1:24 pm

  9. It’s fashion. It all looks kinda silly, either immediately or six months later.

    But the commentary is fun 🙂

    Comment by wunelle — September 14, 2006 @ 10:42 pm

  10. I’ve been so busy at work this week making stylish fashions for Puppets that Make Crank Calls (now on MTV2) that I have missed fashion week. OMFG. What have they done? Is it all a ploy to make Michael and Jeffery look like geniuses? Some huge PR stunt/cross marketing/synergy bullshit?

    Ahhhh!!!!

    Comment by Robyn — September 17, 2006 @ 1:06 am

  11. i think all of the outfits are gorgeous and i think you have a really bad fashion sense to say that these are ugly.

    Comment by questionable — July 1, 2007 @ 9:41 pm


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