Slow Adventures in Slothville

September 27, 2006

It’s yaw bit of stuff!

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 4:22 am

Tyoozday, shag day, remembah?? Somehow chronic lack of sleep brings me to Gwyneth Paltrow’s sorry British accent. I’m all over the place.

A bit maudlin yesterday, eh?

Well today started out beachly enough.



Empty beach at noon:

Except for this guy:

So we set up our staging area:

And for the first time during this whole vacation, really, I actually DID something. I caught a fish:

Now, you may have some questions about this picture. I will readily admit to being confused about it myself upon first viewing. In anticipation of your concerns, I will try to answer your queries as best I can by addressing them in the same order in which they occurred to me and with the same answers I provided to myself:

Q: Where did all your hair go?

A: I cut it all off. Why do we continue to be surprised by this? Remember? Going to Jennifer? She took the scissors, and snipsnipsnip? Get a handle on it already.

Q: What are you doing with that fish that you so admirably caught?

A: Your guess is as good as mine. Dancing with it? Smooching at it? Using it as a microphone? (Actually, suggestions here are welcome. I’m still not clear on this point.)

Q: Why is your torso shaped like an avocado?

A: Five words – Wind in the sweatshirt, bitches.

Q: Why is there a pink pooch-out on your butt right there?

A: Thirty-nine words: The camera case was around my shoulder like so, right? So then it sort of twisted while I was doing my little fish mambo and hiked up my teensy pink towel skirt a smidge. So that’s how that happened.

Q: Jeepers, body conscious much?

A: Yeeps, ya think?

Anyways, my fish and I we just gotta say, uh HUH. Yeah.

Word to tha muthafucka. Straight outtahahahahaI’m so white…..



  1. You’re such a little cupcake!


    Happy Wednesday.

    Comment by Aimee — September 27, 2006 @ 6:24 am

  2. Damn, smoochin’ a bluefish! Well, you’re still cute – pink pooch-outs and all! πŸ™‚ I’m envious of your sunrise!

    Comment by Seamus — September 27, 2006 @ 9:05 am

  3. … joo aah sneefeeng ze feesh, ahnd soon joo weel eeeat heeem! ( dramatic flourish and swirl of imaginary moustache )

    (how’s that for overly white?)

    Comment by cybele — September 27, 2006 @ 2:13 pm

  4. Nice Q and A!

    Comment by James Mitchell — September 27, 2006 @ 2:53 pm

  5. White no longer! Your tan has arrived.

    Comment by Warrior Steve — September 27, 2006 @ 3:25 pm

  6. There are alot of footprints in the sand…you did a serious happy fish mambo didn’t you.

    Comment by Tot — September 27, 2006 @ 3:37 pm

  7. Did you eat it?

    Comment by ESC — September 27, 2006 @ 4:07 pm

  8. You’re telling it that it will all be over soon in a consoling voice.

    What’s in the cooler?!?!?!

    Tot’s right; there are lots of footprints, and tire tracks.

    Comment by Seth — September 27, 2006 @ 4:42 pm

  9. I want to know if you have a different coffee cup for every day of the week. 3 coffee pictures, 3 mugs.

    And you know what they say, you can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.

    Ah, I slay me.

    Comment by Vince — September 27, 2006 @ 5:49 pm

  10. I did, in fact, eat the fish. With peas and mashed potatoes.

    Seth, BAIT is in the cooler!!!!!!!

    The tire tracks are from the life guard people who occasionally zoom by on their three-wheelers.

    The truth is, I’ve been varying my mugs…..for you guys. Ok, you caught me.

    Comment by shhville — September 27, 2006 @ 7:32 pm

  11. mmmm…peas, mashed potatoes, and fresh fish.

    I would’ve asked none of those questions. My question would have been: are you always so color/fashion coordinated on the beach? Because mostly when I go to the beach, I’m wearing a swimsuit and some old clothes over it. Then again, I have never been to the beach for weeks at a time, only the off afternoon here and there. I suppose I’m jealous that you look so put-together, yet beachy. πŸ™‚

    Comment by Julie — September 27, 2006 @ 8:07 pm

  12. You gonna give us a Friday wrap up before you go home to the Warrior and don’t emerge from the sheets for another 2 weeks?


    Comment by Aimee — September 29, 2006 @ 1:17 am

  13. Hi all,
    M’lady Sloth wanted to let you know her internet connection gave up trying to compete with beachside awesomeness, so her final vacation post(s) will go up once she’s back home (and we’re completely exhausted.)

    Comment by raw verse riot — September 29, 2006 @ 4:48 pm

  14. Yer so cute. Pink pooch and all. πŸ˜‰

    Comment by E-Lo — September 30, 2006 @ 3:26 am

  15. Warrior Steve–excellent anagram!

    Comment by Aimee — September 30, 2006 @ 5:30 am

  16. Am I the only one who didn’t understand you’d be posting DURING vacation? And does that make me more awesome, or do I merely maintain?

    Comment by Dan Tobin — October 2, 2006 @ 7:38 pm

  17. That’s one week without postings. Do we really have to wait another? I was just kidding when I said that, ya know…

    Comment by Aimee — October 7, 2006 @ 4:13 pm

  18. 2 wks, but who’s counting…
    Hurry your slothy self back to us.

    Comment by Michael — October 12, 2006 @ 12:46 am

  19. Can we still put missing person ads on milk cartons?

    Sloth, come back, the assholes are leaving anonymous stupid blog links!

    Comment by Julie — October 12, 2006 @ 4:29 pm

  20. Really, Sloth. I didn’t mean you HAD to be gone two weeks!

    Comment by Aimee — October 14, 2006 @ 3:21 pm

  21. Did you decide to be on permanent vacation and open up a shoe/smoothie stand? It would be called Blender Feet and would make meeeeellions.

    Ok, maybe not Blender Feet.

    Comment by Seth — October 15, 2006 @ 9:48 pm

  22. FruitBoot.

    Comment by Tot — October 16, 2006 @ 3:41 pm

  23. Sole Food?

    Ok, that wasn’t so good. I like Fruit Boot better.

    SLoooooooooth, where aaaaaaaaaaare yoooooooooooooou?!

    Comment by Aimee — October 16, 2006 @ 10:50 pm

  24. Shooz&Ooze

    Comment by Michael — October 18, 2006 @ 3:53 pm

  25. Frozen Toes.

    Comment by cybele — October 18, 2006 @ 4:35 pm

  26. open it under a palm on the beach and call it the Ped-Diet-Tree.

    Comment by warrior steve — October 18, 2006 @ 6:20 pm

  27. Niiiiice.

    Comment by Seth — October 20, 2006 @ 7:26 pm

  28. dude…even I posted on my honeymoon…


    or did you and WS realize two weeks was just too long to be apart, run to vegas, and get hitched?


    Comment by ESC — October 22, 2006 @ 2:17 am

  29. Wuv. Twue Wuv.

    Comment by Aimee — October 24, 2006 @ 3:36 pm

  30. Dude, WS is commenting, but Sloth is not posting. There’s something just wrong with that.

    You’re shooting for a month of no blogging just to see if we keep commenting, aren’t you?

    Comment by Julie — October 24, 2006 @ 7:00 pm

  31. She’s back from Minnesota, watching the Olympics.

    Comment by cybele — October 25, 2006 @ 2:50 pm

  32. I’ll take today’s comment. Someone else has to do tomorrow’s.

    Comment by Seth — October 26, 2006 @ 7:52 pm

  33. Yo. Sloth. COME BACK!!! I can’t quit graduate school without you around… it just wouldn’t be right. SOMETHING has to stay the same darnit!

    Comment by Nicole — October 27, 2006 @ 8:56 pm

  34. HAHAHAHAHA–Cybele, I wondered if anyone else remembered. That was classic!

    Today is one month.

    Comment by Aimee — October 28, 2006 @ 2:20 am

  35. SlothWatch2006 – who needs election coverage when we’ve got this?

    I think Sloth and Warrior Steve eloped.

    Comment by Julie — October 30, 2006 @ 7:42 pm

  36. And it was an Elvis wedding.

    Comment by Tot — October 30, 2006 @ 9:06 pm

  37. I think they eloped to Bali.

    Or if they are cold weather peeps, Chamonix in France.

    Comment by Seth — October 30, 2006 @ 9:08 pm

  38. Sloth opened a little wedding chapel/smoothie stand on the beach.


    Comment by ESC — October 31, 2006 @ 1:26 am

  39. Just checking in- I know I’ve been guilty of not posting forever as well. Let your fans know if you are going to move on or stop. We need the closure!

    Comment by Robyn — October 31, 2006 @ 8:58 pm

  40. Maybe she eloped with the fish instead of Warrior Steve. They look pretty cozy in that picture above.

    Comment by Julie — November 1, 2006 @ 5:50 am

  41. I didn’t see any Sloth while I was off the face of the Earth. She must be around here somewhere.

    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 1, 2006 @ 1:28 pm

  42. 1. My fish has no nose.

    2. How does it smell?

    3. Terrible!

    4. Hahahaha.

    5. BOOOOO!!!

    Comment by Dan Tobin — November 1, 2006 @ 10:07 pm

  43. Has there been a death/suicide??

    Comment by Horatio — November 2, 2006 @ 10:33 pm

  44. Just adding to – she’s bound to be lurking, hmmmm?

    Comment by Seamus — November 6, 2006 @ 4:49 am

  45. Hahahaha, that Dan Tobin.

    Comment by Seth — November 7, 2006 @ 4:18 pm

  46. What??? The Dems pulled victories out of their butts all over the country, and nary a peep from Sloth?

    Comment by Robyn — November 9, 2006 @ 2:19 am

  47. I thought for sure Blue Tuesday would pull her back, but apparently not.

    Sloth, you’re bored with us, aren’t you?

    Comment by Julie — November 9, 2006 @ 9:27 pm

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