Slow Adventures in Slothville

November 21, 2006

Giving Thanks

Filed under: Boys, Shoes, Slothyness — shhville @ 4:09 pm

I looked at Slothville this morning and thought, “If I’m done writing about my heartache, what now? It’s the only thing I have anymore!” And then I realized I was being melodramatic and, duh!, a shoe post was in order.

In keeping with the season, today’s shoe post is all about things I am thankful for. (i.e. Shedding the manchild I’ve been dating before we moved in together.)

Regardless of what the Republicans would like people to believe, my fellow Democrats and I are grateful for our armed forces. We wish they weren’t dying in Iraq for no particular reason and we worry about the waning of soldier prestige because, um, we need them, but we are thankful for their sacrifices and their honor and their courage. That being said, we’re also glad no one in the military has to wear these fuckin’ things. Wait, back when Rumsfeld had a job it would have been funny to see him in these boots so I sort of take it back, but really, the only place these boots belong is wrapped around a roadside bomb.

On an equally stherious note, I’m soooper glad that everyone in the whole world understands that creepy, bondage-type straps and anything remotely paisleyish should never ever ever be anywhere near each other under any circumstances, amen.  Wait…GAH!!

This year I am very grateful to have learned Lesson in Love #10. Trying to be someone you’re not in order to meet someone else’s unfair expectations is generally a disaster (see above).

I am (for real!) thankful for those dogs that you can put a treat on their noses and they just sit there, all mournful and expectant at the same time, waiting for you to say, “Good job!!” so they can chomp the shit outta that shit.

Bunsen, doesn’t Sadie do that?

As you can see here, this poor fellow is in the midst of a sex-change operation. The surgeon has removed the weener and is now folding back the skin to form the labia. It is a complex and traumatic surgery that has come a long way in terms of success in the past decade. I am over-the-moon grateful to have been born the correct gender. For people whose souls and bodies don’t match up in that way, life can be pretty tortuous until (hopefully) they are able to have the gender reassignment. But, no matter how much I respect the long and difficult road that transgender people must travel, I don’t ever want to wear half a fake labia on my foot. I’m just saying.

And finally for today (you know what I’m going to say, right?), I’m just so thankful to not suck in every way imaginable. And that none of you do either.

Advertisements

9 Comments »

  1. You rock my socks off.

    (Those last ones look like they have chicken pox. Yeuch.)

    Comment by Aimee — November 21, 2006 @ 4:34 pm

  2. yep, Sadie does indeed do that. mournfully and pathetically. I’ve even taken it up a notch.

    however…my shoes do not do that. ever.

    and I spit sun chip crumbs at my laptop when i read about the labia shoes. thanks.

    Comment by ESC — November 21, 2006 @ 5:30 pm

  3. OK, wordpress comments do not like the target=_blank command, apparently.

    funny picture here

    Comment by ESC — November 21, 2006 @ 5:31 pm

  4. I have been totally missing shameless shoes. And these are shameless beyond recognition. Especially the camo ones. I’ve seen similar ones in stores and thought they should be featured here.

    And now they are, in all their tasteleslly tacky glory. Thanks so much.

    And a great many thank you’s for not sucking.

    Comment by Vince — November 21, 2006 @ 5:59 pm

  5. Those paisley bondage boots look like they’re in pain, which is the point maybe? And I worked for hours in a sweatshop with my Bedazzler to make those last boots look like that!

    Comment by Seth — November 21, 2006 @ 7:27 pm

  6. Oh, Uggs. (I say that in my “Oh, Journey” tone which I think really has to be experienced in person to be fully appreciated.)

    And I look at the labia shoes and think “Isn’t the point of boots to keep legs warm? And if so, why would I want a boot that is yanked all the way back to my heel.” But you have said that way better than I ever could and equated it to a sex change operation, so thanks.

    Comment by Julie — November 21, 2006 @ 7:57 pm

  7. Wow, those labial shoes… I am thinking Paris Hilton has a pair in every color?

    Comment by Foundme — November 21, 2006 @ 11:45 pm

  8. I’m so thankful to see shameful shoes back again. It’s been too long.

    Comment by E-Lo — November 22, 2006 @ 2:32 am

  9. ’bout time you put up a shameful shoe post!!! Glad to see you back in form! 😉

    Comment by Seamus — November 22, 2006 @ 7:50 am


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: