Slow Adventures in Slothville

November 22, 2006

Huge Melon Kilmer

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom — shhville @ 5:15 pm

I wasn’t even going to bother posting today, but I saw this picture while dredging for celebrity gossip and I HAD to share it with you. Remember the brief conversation we had back in June about celebrity fatheads? Well, here’s your follow-up. Val Kilmer at the New York premiere of “Deja Vu” (which, incidentally, looks SO bad to me, but whatever).

Nice tie, buddy, for real. Too bad you look like you’re about to sneeze a toddler out of your ginormous noggin.

If he was a good actor (or, not a total asshole) I’d be all, “Oh, give him a break, he’s aging, we all age….,” but instead I’m like, “How does this medical-mystery-head still get work?” He’s a nightmare on set and he looks like an allergic reaction to a bee sting.

Oh, Iceman. You’ve always been a prick, but at least you used to be hot…..



  1. I think he’s turning into a Scientologist. They all seem to plump up quite a bit.

    For when Xenu returns to eat them.

    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 22, 2006 @ 5:30 pm

  2. And why does that black guy have no pupils? Zombie?


    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 22, 2006 @ 5:55 pm

  3. I know, I noticed that too! I was going to say something about it but I figured someone else – YOU – would come up with something wittier and I was right.

    Comment by shhville — November 22, 2006 @ 6:07 pm

  4. Just doin’ m’job, ma’am.

    Parta m’job is abusin’ apost’erfees.

    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 22, 2006 @ 6:23 pm

  5. My guess is that he has may be suffering from a strain of Hello-Kittyitis.

    Comment by boski — November 22, 2006 @ 7:27 pm

  6. Boy, he’s gone all Shatner on us.

    Comment by Tot — November 22, 2006 @ 7:56 pm

  7. Hey, now, easy on Shatner.

    (Of course, you’re right.)

    Comment by cybele — November 22, 2006 @ 9:09 pm

  8. gahhh!!! DON’T EAT ME VAL KILMER!!!

    (i loved you in Real Genius! spare my life!)

    Comment by ESC — November 22, 2006 @ 10:54 pm

  9. Well, he IS your huckleberry!

    Comment by Foundme — November 22, 2006 @ 10:55 pm


    Site that you might find interesting right now…sets forth 100 things she must do before falling in love again. And you’ve already done #71.

    Comment by Chris — November 24, 2006 @ 9:11 pm

  11. Friend of a friend worked with Val Kilmer, and the (unverified) story is that, supposedly, Val Kilmer doesn’t like to go #2 in the toilet, instead preferring to crap on the sheets and stuff them in the closet. Who knows if it’s true, but juicy nonetheless.

    Comment by dino bravo — November 24, 2006 @ 9:38 pm

  12. OMG whyyyyyy whyyyyyy did he had to turn so damn ugly???? whyyyyyyyy

    Comment by Yoli — November 25, 2006 @ 11:41 pm

  13. ugly is as ugly eats.

    Comment by basho. — November 27, 2006 @ 3:03 am

  14. Well, I can’t seem to sign in to my blog this morning. A new post as soon as that works itself out.

    As for the sheet-pooping rumor, I will say that it can only be partly true. A close friend of mine (who I dined with on Saturday) once walked in on Val pooping in an actual toilet. For what it’s worth. (Lots!)

    Comment by Sloth — November 27, 2006 @ 2:44 pm

  15. If I had a nickel for every time I saw Val Kilmer being shitty…

    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 27, 2006 @ 3:47 pm

  16. I think that Val is still sexy.

    Comment by SueZanka007 — September 20, 2007 @ 10:41 am

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