Slow Adventures in Slothville

November 28, 2006

Overheard at Thanksgiving

Filed under: Family — shhville @ 4:06 pm

Mom: He has his list of things he hates.

Dad: I don’t hate anything.

M: He hates brussel sprouts.

D: I do not hate brussel sprouts.

M: Yes you do! You eat them once a year, at Thanksgiving, and you put the three smallest brussel sprouts you can find on your plate. (Miming delicate sprout-placement procedure.) 

D: See? I eat them. I don’t hate them. I don’t hate anything. There’s nothing I hate.

M: Yes you do hate things!

D: Nope.

M: You hate cottage cheese.


M: ….

D: If cottage cheese was the last food on earth I would starve to death. I tried it once against my better judgment and it was so vile, I spit it RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.

M: I LOVE cottage cheese.

D: Uhhh!!! It is the most putrid – with those little lumps – curds! It has lumpy curds!

M: Mmmmm……with fruit……

D: I would rather DIE than eat ONE DISGUSTING CURD of cottage cheese. (Face completely serious.)

Sloth: Me too.

D: Ha! See?? Our daughter understands. (Moves chair over next to mine.)

M: So you DO hate something.

D: Just the cottage cheese. Other than that I like everything.



  1. I love cottage cheese. Especially with almonds.

    Comment by Dan Tobin — November 28, 2006 @ 4:43 pm

  2. Wow, that comment accomplished exactly nothing.

    Comment by Dan Tobin — November 28, 2006 @ 4:49 pm

  3. I used to love the smell, but I will never put it in my mouth. It’s curdled dairy! I’ve seen milk do that, and I wouldn’t eat THAT! And don’t start on with the cheese, cause as long as I’m ignorant, I can LOVE cheese!

    Comment by Foundme — November 28, 2006 @ 5:14 pm

  4. That’s ignorant!! (South Park Michael Jackson voice)

    Comment by shhville — November 28, 2006 @ 5:17 pm

  5. I can’t stand cottage cheese either. Or yogurt.

    Comment by Vince — November 28, 2006 @ 5:49 pm

  6. I love cottage cheese–it’s oatmeal I find icky and lumpoid and repulsive.

    Comment by Serra — November 28, 2006 @ 6:17 pm

  7. Mmmmm! Oatmeal! With milk and maple syrup….

    Comment by shhville — November 28, 2006 @ 6:21 pm

  8. I’m throwing my weight behind the ‘hate cottage cheese’ brigade.

    I wish my name was “Will,” because then I’d make a joke about “Where there’s a whey, there’s no Will.”

    But my name’s the Retropolitan, so that joke is out of the question.

    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 28, 2006 @ 6:30 pm

  9. MMmmmm, oatmeal and maple syrup… and butter.. and brown sugar…

    Yes, there’s a reason I’m fat!

    Comment by Foundme — November 28, 2006 @ 6:30 pm

  10. Oatmeal doesn’t make you fat!!

    It’s “nature’s broomstick.”

    I try not to laugh when I say that but I always fail.

    Comment by shhville — November 28, 2006 @ 6:40 pm

  11. What the hell kinds of things are you doing with broomsticks?

    Comment by The Retropolitan — November 28, 2006 @ 6:54 pm

  12. I had cottage cheese at lunch today. And I also like oatmeal.

    And keep that broomstick away from me.

    Just pretend the cottage cheese is like a cheese soup with lumps. Oh, that doesn’t help, does it?

    Comment by Seth — November 28, 2006 @ 7:22 pm

  13. Funny, my breakfast of choice changed from oatmeal with peanut butter to cottage cheese with Danola* Brand Granola and a little jam. Lately my breakfast of choice has been Danola Brand Granola with yogurt named either Banilla or Vanana depending on whether it’s Stonyfield Farms or Trader Joe’s brand.

    *the only granola made in Dan Tobin’s kitchen

    Comment by Dan Tobin — November 28, 2006 @ 8:28 pm

  14. mmm…cottage cheese. I like to scoop it up with sticks of cucumbers.

    or mix it with strawberries.


    and just so YOU KNOW…CHEESE is made from compressed curdled milk, so do you start getting all high and mighty “i don’t EAT spoiled MILK” on us!

    Comment by ESC — November 28, 2006 @ 8:45 pm

  15. Bunsen has just ruined cheese for me. THANKS, BUNSEN.

    Comment by Julie — November 28, 2006 @ 8:52 pm

  16. I love brussels sprouts. Cottage cheese is okay, but not with brussels sprouts because that would be omigodgross.

    Comment by shelley — November 28, 2006 @ 11:19 pm

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