Slow Adventures in Slothville

January 11, 2007

Say Fromage!!

Filed under: Boston, Boys, School — shhville @ 3:36 pm

Guess what I did last night? No, guess. No, you have to guess. GUESS!!! Fine, I went to a cheese tasting class. It was soooooooo fun, but I can still taste the cheese in my mouth a little. Some of that shit is potent! It scared me! I shall now share my new wealth of knowledge with you. (Keep in mind that I’m talking about raw milk cheeses here – un-fucking-pasteurized, people.)

1. Ricotta al Forno* – cow milk, Sicily, Italy: Ricotta baked in a bread mold. Vaguely sweet, almost bread pudding texture. Combines well with sweet or bitter (jam or bitter greens).

2. Tetoun – goat milk, Provence, France: available June-November, aged in moldy caves. Bitter, peppery, silky rind (mold), creamy texture, almost a pine flavor. Intense and delicious. Best with a sweet condiment. Wow, that’s really bitter. Wow.

3. Robiola di Serole – goat milk, Asti, Italy: means “to turn red” but dude, this cheese isn’t red. Ok, he says you have to dump it in old rusty brine to make it that way. Mmmmmm. Tart, but mild, creamy texture, mold all over the fucking thing. Chomp!

4. Couserans – goat milk, Ariege, France: holy shit, this smells like a urinal cake. Teacher says “earthy flavor.” Comes from “sandy milk.” Ok, this is wicked yummy but there’s no getting around the fact that it smells like old piss. I feel conflicted.

5. Weston Wheel – sheep milk, Weston, Vermont: nutty, smooth, rich, mmmmmmmmsogood. Teacher says rind edible. I’ve eaten all the rinds so far and now expect to die shortly. Ack!! Ack!! Ptoo!! Ptoo!! Rind tastes like dingleberries!! Dingle!! Berries!! Make it stop!!

6. Bergkase Bio Berghoff – cow milk, Appenzel, Switzerland: how the hell do you pronounce that? Ooh, it’s tickly! Tickles my tongue. Aged 6 months. Creamy, nutty, perfect. Mmm! This is my favorite so far. Or maybe the wine is making me friendlier. Either way, it’s cool.

7. Pecorino Ginepro – sheep milk, Emilia Romagna, Italy: Holy salt lick!! Where’s a deer when you need one? Best pecorino I’ve ever tasted, bar none.

8. Veenweidekaas – cow milk, Zoeterwoude, Netherlands: mmmmyummah… These cheeses really need to stop getting better. I’m almost full.

9. Montgomery Farmhouse Cheedar – cow milk, Somerset, England: Oh my god, cheesegasm.

10. Senne Flada – cow milk, Western, Switzerland: not sweet, but considered a dessert cheese for boldness of flavor. Whoa!! Smells like diapers, tastes like Heaven. And….sort of like coffee too.

11. Ubriaco Durello – cow milk, Verona, Italy: also a dessert cheese. Another mouth tickler. That’s probably the bacteria spazzing out because they have a new home.

12. Persille du Beaujolais – cow milk, Auvergne, France: mmmmmmm……..silky, gorgeous bleu. Drizzle with honey and it’s perfection. Wish teacher was not wearing wedding ring, muy caliente!! I’d totally hit that.

And that’s what I learned! Happy Thursday!!

*This was the only cheese I tried that didn’t scare the crap out of me.





    Comment by The Retropolitan — January 11, 2007 @ 3:54 pm

  2. Good cheesy fun.

    Out here, the Beverly Hills Cheese Shop has an awesome selection (my favorite’s St. Agur Bleu) and I think they do stuff like that. You’ve convinced me to look into it.

    Guess what I’m doing this weekend? Guess!

    Scotch tasting — some thing sponsored by Johnny Walker. It’s like wine tasting, only I expect to get drunk faster.

    Comment by Michael — January 11, 2007 @ 4:21 pm

  3. mmmm!!!! cheese! I hope they provided a few glasses of wine to go with it.

    BTW-I forgot my new password. Can you resend it to me? I will tell you my old one, if you want.

    Comment by Robyn — January 11, 2007 @ 4:22 pm

  4. There was wine. In fact, I think you can track my increasing tipsyness as you read down the list.

    I could never survive a scotch tasting, holy shit.

    Comment by shhville — January 11, 2007 @ 4:36 pm

  5. If I just drink a lot of scotch does that count as a tasting?

    Sounds better than just I’m going out and getting hammered.

    Comment by Pup — January 11, 2007 @ 4:40 pm

  6. Dude, you guys aren’t even reading this post, I can tell. No way you actually read it and had no inclination to compliment me on the new awesome word I invented. Gotcha!

    Comment by shhville — January 11, 2007 @ 4:45 pm

  7. Sloth, thanks to you, half the bloggers are exclaiming “Suh”, “Gah”, and “Oh muh guh”. Now you’re adding “cheesegasm” to their vocabulary. You think I don’t notice these catchphrases? Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Slothie?

    Comment by Michael — January 11, 2007 @ 4:52 pm

  8. Hahahahaha!!! So true.

    I love how anything can be a gasm. I totally just had a yawngasm.

    Comment by shhville — January 11, 2007 @ 4:58 pm

  9. Wow. that’s a lot of cheese. As unofficial representative of your lactose intolerant readership, let me say, “UUUUUHHHHHHH.” I can feel my intestines contracting just from reading about it. Definitely not what a cheesegasm should feel like.

    Comment by LiAps — January 11, 2007 @ 5:46 pm

  10. Mmmmmm…cheese.

    I recall having a fruitgasm back when I was in the Middle East and deprived of fresh fruit for over a week. Stupid Navy food.

    I really wanted to read your last post, but forgot the new password. It’s on my PC at home. Damn I don’t want to wait until tonight!

    Comment by Vince — January 11, 2007 @ 5:56 pm

  11. Ohhhhhh, LiAps, you would NOT be having a good day today. No, no, no.

    Comment by shhville — January 11, 2007 @ 6:31 pm

  12. Mmmmm, cheeeeeese. That all sounds delicious! Okay, most. I need to see if someone around here does that; I’m sold!

    Why does cheese have to be so stinky and bacteriagasmic to be good?

    You ate the RIND!?!?!?! You are a brave sloth.

    Comment by Seth — January 11, 2007 @ 8:45 pm

  13. Julie is not down with the eating of mold. I don’t care how good it tastes, shit that I normally throw out when it invades my refrigerator does not suddenly become magically delicious just because it’s on dairy.

    Comment by Julie — January 11, 2007 @ 8:47 pm

  14. Also, cheesegasm reminds me of a yeast infection for some reason. 😉

    Comment by Julie — January 11, 2007 @ 8:48 pm

  15. Hmm, as much as I would LOVE to taste all those cheese’s, I’m with Julie. If it LOOKS like mold… gonna get NOWHERE near my mouth. I even have issues with blue cheese.

    But, I think I could have eaten several of those, especially when you put HONEY on them! HONEY AND CHEESE!!!!

    Comment by Foundme — January 11, 2007 @ 9:38 pm

  16. Cheesegasms and dingleberries! Quite the tasting there! 😉

    Comment by Seamus — January 12, 2007 @ 3:47 am

  17. Mmmmm… cheese. My parents bought one of those huge round gobs of cheese from Swiss country here in the great state of W and V. It smelled atrocious but was delicious.

    Comment by Inanna — January 12, 2007 @ 3:58 am

  18. I’ve forgotten your password! Oh, cravings. Do email.

    Comment by basho. — January 17, 2007 @ 2:29 am

  19. just passing through. quickly. but from all this chees talk, it looks like it’s going to smell pretty awful in here shortly.

    Comment by lethologica — February 3, 2007 @ 6:43 pm

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