Say Fromage!!

Guess what I did last night? No, guess. No, you have to guess. GUESS!!! Fine, I went to a cheese tasting class. It was soooooooo fun, but I can still taste the cheese in my mouth a little. Some of that shit is potent! It scared me! I shall now share my new wealth of knowledge with you. (Keep in mind that I’m talking about raw milk cheeses here – un-fucking-pasteurized, people.)

1. Ricotta al Forno* – cow milk, Sicily, Italy: Ricotta baked in a bread mold. Vaguely sweet, almost bread pudding texture. Combines well with sweet or bitter (jam or bitter greens).

2. Tetoun – goat milk, Provence, France: available June-November, aged in moldy caves. Bitter, peppery, silky rind (mold), creamy texture, almost a pine flavor. Intense and delicious. Best with a sweet condiment. Wow, that’s really bitter. Wow.

3. Robiola di Serole – goat milk, Asti, Italy: means “to turn red” but dude, this cheese isn’t red. Ok, he says you have to dump it in old rusty brine to make it that way. Mmmmmm. Tart, but mild, creamy texture, mold all over the fucking thing. Chomp!

4. Couserans – goat milk, Ariege, France: holy shit, this smells like a urinal cake. Teacher says “earthy flavor.” Comes from “sandy milk.” Ok, this is wicked yummy but there’s no getting around the fact that it smells like old piss. I feel conflicted.

5. Weston Wheel – sheep milk, Weston, Vermont: nutty, smooth, rich, mmmmmmmmsogood. Teacher says rind edible. I’ve eaten all the rinds so far and now expect to die shortly. Ack!! Ack!! Ptoo!! Ptoo!! Rind tastes like dingleberries!! Dingle!! Berries!! Make it stop!!

6. Bergkase Bio Berghoff – cow milk, Appenzel, Switzerland: how the hell do you pronounce that? Ooh, it’s tickly! Tickles my tongue. Aged 6 months. Creamy, nutty, perfect. Mmm! This is my favorite so far. Or maybe the wine is making me friendlier. Either way, it’s cool.

7. Pecorino Ginepro – sheep milk, Emilia Romagna, Italy: Holy salt lick!! Where’s a deer when you need one? Best pecorino I’ve ever tasted, bar none.

8. Veenweidekaas – cow milk, Zoeterwoude, Netherlands: mmmmyummah… These cheeses really need to stop getting better. I’m almost full.

9. Montgomery Farmhouse Cheedar – cow milk, Somerset, England: Oh my god, cheesegasm.

10. Senne Flada – cow milk, Western, Switzerland: not sweet, but considered a dessert cheese for boldness of flavor. Whoa!! Smells like diapers, tastes like Heaven. And….sort of like coffee too.

11. Ubriaco Durello – cow milk, Verona, Italy: also a dessert cheese. Another mouth tickler. That’s probably the bacteria spazzing out because they have a new home.

12. Persille du Beaujolais – cow milk, Auvergne, France: mmmmmmm……..silky, gorgeous bleu. Drizzle with honey and it’s perfection. Wish teacher was not wearing wedding ring, muy caliente!! I’d totally hit that.

And that’s what I learned! Happy Thursday!!

*This was the only cheese I tried that didn’t scare the crap out of me.