Slow Adventures in Slothville

November 14, 2007

Separated at Birth?

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Penny, Religion — shhville @ 5:09 pm

Look at me, posting!

So, you all already know of my lingering fascination with the cult of personality that is Joel Osteen, possibly the worst man alive, whom I would bed without hesitation.  I watch his show all the time, natch. The other night he opened his sermon with a dumb blonde joke. It was terrific, especially since his wife is blonde and very likely dumb if not completely Satanic. Remember when she went all Freddy Kruger on a Continental flight and got kicked off the plane? That was pretty rad.

Anyway, I was trolling the celeb goss the other day and found a photo of Joel Osteen with a killer tan:

Look, it’s Smokey Osteen! Man, check out those krazy eyes on Smokey Robinson,  that’s the Lord’s work right there, I’ll tell you what. He looks more like Joel Osteen than Joel Osteen does!

Praise him, people. PRAISE HIMMMM!!

I showed the picture to Penny and she was considerably disconcerted.

Penny: That’s the guy you want to have crazy monkey sex with and ruin his life with blackmail and public disgrace?

Slothy: Well, that’s the black, musically talented version.

Penny: I don’t see it.

Slothy: There is hotness there. And hypocrisy. Trust.

Penny: Just make sure you get a receipt.

Slothy: What does that mean?

Penny: I have no idea.



  1. Speaking as the leader of a made-up religion, Joel Osteen is an inspiration. He is a big hit at the annual convention we false prophets have each year…

    (glad you’re back!)

    Comment by His Sinfulness — November 14, 2007 @ 7:24 pm

  2. Oooh, a false prophet convention sounds like a good time.

    That’s the second time I saw Smokey online today. The first was at

    Penny’s so crazy!

    Comment by Seth — November 14, 2007 @ 7:54 pm

  3. Joel is truly an inspirational guy. And he’s so glad you could join him tonight for some prayer. So glad.

    Seth – WHAT dot com??? I’m so checking that out right this second.

    Comment by shhville — November 14, 2007 @ 8:32 pm

  4. HA! This is f’ing hilarious.

    Comment by Cat — November 14, 2007 @ 11:25 pm

  5. Always listen to Penny. She’s got the smarts.

    Comment by Julie — November 15, 2007 @ 3:07 pm

  6. Slimsuit

    Comment by Brenda Sullivan — May 24, 2008 @ 6:42 am

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