Slow Adventures in Slothville

November 28, 2007

Celebrity Kabuki Mask Watch

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom — shhville @ 4:02 pm

First of all, someone found my blog yesterday by googling “pierced pepperoni.” I don’t know how that brought them here, but I’m impressed.

So I’m trolling through the goss this morning when I happen upon this photo of Christian Slater on TMZ. And it made me so sad. So, so sad. Because remember when Christian Slater looked like this?

Ok, he sort of looks like a pissed off lesbian there, but you know what I mean. He was muy caliente. And I think he would have aged well, I do. But I’m afraid that opportunity has passed as he has pumped his poor face full of botulism:


Can he even move his lips? I bet he can’t. If he could he would say, “Help! I’m terribly distressed! Can’t you tell?” Um, no, we can’t. How can you act if you can’t move your face?

Remember a while back when I started the Nicole Kidman Kabuki Mask Watch? Well, it’s still going strong. She showed up at the premiere of The Golden Compass yesterday looking like this:

Oh, hello there Mr. Craig. How YOU doin’? Anyway, as a reminder, last year Nicole Kidman looked like this:

Also as a reminder, she’s 40 years old.

“I am NOT 40 years old! Say that again and I’ll cut you, bitch! I am EXTREMELY ANGRY, can’t you tell?”

Then I ran into this picture of Laura Linney at the premier of The Savages:

Hi, Laura! Give us a smile, pretty lady!

“Am I doing it? Am I doing it?”

So as I go through the day I’ll probably just add whoever else I run across who is turning into a kabuki mask. I’m sure I’ll find a few. In Hollywood, the only thing more elusive than a wrinkle is good karma.




  1. Oh, Christian. I am so disappointed. So. So. Disappointed.

    Comment by Julie — November 28, 2007 @ 6:52 pm

  2. I think christian might also have hair plugs.


    Comment by evilsciencechick — November 28, 2007 @ 7:18 pm

  3. Oh my god, I think you’re right. Blaaaaggghhh…….

    Comment by shhville — November 28, 2007 @ 9:05 pm

  4. Oomph, Kidman is scary.

    Comment by Cat — November 28, 2007 @ 11:08 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: