Slow Adventures in Slothville

April 1, 2008

Hot or Not: Mena Suvari

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Penny — shhville @ 8:58 pm

In this inaugural edition of Slothville’s Hot or Not feature, we take a look at quirky quirkster Mena Suvari. Heralded as an American beauty since “American Beauty,” I’ve always found something *off* about her. First of all, there’s the forehead:

The hell? How big IS her brain, anyway? Girl had BETTER be in MENSA. But a big forehead can be sexy, yes? It’s a matter of perspective. It’s kind of hot because it’s unique. So…………….ok, forehead is working. It’s what she does to cover up that forehead that has me confused.

GAH!! NOT GOOD. I think Ricky Martin wrote “She Bangs” about Mena Suvari.

So then Mena went and shaved her head which was both EXTREMELY HOT:


I asked Penny what she thought about all this and she was like, “Dude, lay off, she’s my cousin.”

I can definitely see the resemblance.

But in general I was impressed by how well Mena rocked the bald. She didn’t go for a wig or a nasty-ass weave (ahem) and for the most part she remained solidly in the Hot category.


The Verdict: HOT.

Was there ever any doubt?

Later cats! (And thanks to Sarah for today’s post idea.)



  1. Yes! Hot!
    Hot like Penny, the cutest dog in Christendom!
    Hot like a pug!
    hot like an owl!
    Hot like a supercute fuzzy spider wtih thousands of sideways eyes!~
    Hot like a robot programmed to have sex!
    Just not hot like a human girl. at least not a 100% girl. I know her grandma had sex with Penny’s grandpa. I am just saying..

    Comment by monkey — April 1, 2008 @ 9:52 pm

  2. Latest pictures, cute, but not hot. Or at least not HAWT hot.

    I dig the shaved head look better.

    Comment by Vince — April 2, 2008 @ 12:19 am

  3. The shaved head was amazing. Why does her fivehead look smaller with a shaved head though? Maybe it changes size?

    I look forward to further installments. I wish I was related to the cutest chihuahua in Boston!

    Comment by Seth — April 3, 2008 @ 8:11 pm

  4. I want to make love to her forehead.

    Comment by Tsunami — April 4, 2008 @ 9:12 am

  5. I believe she has what’s called a fivehead. (instead of a forehead) Still hot. What’s with her “scarf collection?”

    Comment by Robyn — May 7, 2008 @ 10:53 am

  6. oh yeah!!!

    Comment by yabba dabba do — February 20, 2009 @ 11:51 pm

  7. She is my girl friend,if anybody say that she is nit hot I found him or her and kill!!him

    Comment by Arian — January 4, 2011 @ 2:38 pm

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