Slow Adventures in Slothville

August 9, 2010

Monday Mini (Featuring James Badge Dale & Gavin Rossdale)

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 7:33 pm

So I was waiting at the bus stop this morning because it’s too hot to walk to work today – this fucking air, it’s like trying to breathe through a wet washcloth – and this *unbelievably* attractive man comes running by (all sweat and tendons and perfect teeth) with a huge brown hound of indeterminate breed on a leash.

Coincidentally, he sort of looked like this guy:

My hounds wants to sniff your skirt.

Who, while we’re talking about it, is totally the poor man’s this guy:

My widow's peak will fuck your widow's peak up, Badgefro.

I mean, check it:

SEXYFACE

EXTRASEXYFACE

And also:

Skinny is the new hot.

Your head-to-body proportion is mildly surprising.

So, anyway, this guy’s big, sweet dog was all, “I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY AND STICK MY COLD, WET NOSE UP YOUR DRESS WHILE I’M AT IT” and the dude was all, “I’m so sorry! Buddy, stop it!” and I was all, “It’s ok, he smells my dog” and the dog was all, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH” and the dude was all, “You also look exactly like my girlfriend.” And before I could say, “Why is a hot piece like you dating a short, tubby sloth who hasn’t shaved her armpits in four days?” they were gone. But, hey, there may be hope for me yet, non?

April 30, 2008

Penny Subs In

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 11:10 pm

I have this whole post in my head about celebrity meltdowns, but no time to put it together for you. Life is busy – I’m getting ready to graduate! Here’s a Penny vid for you. She’s the cutest celebrity I know!

April 17, 2008

Back By Poopular Demand

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 7:03 pm

A few people have asked for more Penny-waking-up videos, so here you go – hot off the presses!

Penny waking up this morning:

March 7, 2008

Tim Gunn’s 3 a.m. Mistake

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 10:28 pm

I think we all saw this coming, right?

MWAH!!

December 19, 2007

Happy Slothday

Filed under: Penny, Slothyness — shhville @ 6:34 pm

Yes, happy birthday to me. Thuuuuuuuuurty tyoooooooo. Yeah. My dad sent me this picture today of Penny and me. She looks like something I dug up in the Pet Sematary.

Two seconds later she feasted on my brain.

Have a great day everyone! Weekdays during which we will not be required to go work are ALMOST HERE!!

November 27, 2007

Morning Things

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Slothyness — shhville @ 4:23 pm

I hope you all enjoyed your family/turkey/charades time. Oh, just me with the charades? No, I don’t believe that. Welcome back to your jobs! To take the edge off, here is a round-up of interesting things I encountered on the internet this morning.

Joaquin Phoenix is an entertaining fuck-up.

You’ve probably already read this, but I had to post it anyway. I love that all the prissy goss columns started questioning Joaquin’s sanity after he got distracted by an invisible amphibian on the “Walk the Line” red carpet.

From Yahoo News via Defamer:

Out of the blue, Phoenix suddenly changed the subject, asking, “Do I have a large frog in my hair?”

Reporter: No, no.

Phoenix: “Something’s crawling out of my scalp.”

Reporter: No, you look great.

Phoenix: “No, but I feel it. I’m not worried about the looks. I’m worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. … What did you ask me?”

So now he’s had to put all these rumors of drug use and insanity to rest. Which is silly, really, because we all know he’s a raging vegan lunatic with a chip on his shoulder and I don’t think any of us have a problem with that. A show of hands. Anyone? Anyone? Didn’t think so.

Next up: This post on CuteOverload made me Google “Coot Feet” because what the eff are those things under the water???

Turns out coots have krazy lobed feet which are muy coolio.

Check out the talons at the end, too. Eep!

The Fug Girls hate this dress:

And while I’ll admit it’s unconventional and a bit loud and is not in any way helped by those bubblegum shoes peeking out below, I’m sort of loving this dress. Does this mean I’m contracting the fug? I don’t know. I’m putting myself on fug watch until further notice.

And finally, your random cool thing of the week via Boing Boing: Rusty Angler Fish

Link.

Later!

November 20, 2007

LOLSLOTH

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 3:52 pm

Funny Pictures

September 21, 2007

Guilty Friday

Filed under: Celebrity Whoredom, Penny, Slothyness — shhville @ 2:44 pm

Guhmorning!!

Last night I went on a GUILTY PLEASURES iTunes shopping spree and bought “…Baby One More Time” and “Oops!…I Did It Again” by Britney, “Bye Bye Bye” by NSYNC, “I Want It That Way” by Backstreet Boys and “Genie In A Bottle” by Christina Aguilara.

I remain unashamed!!

But then iTunes was all, “Here are your recommendations – based on your purchase history, you will LOVE the Spice Girls! And Mandy Moore! And Hanson!” I was so offended, all “Fuck you iTunes! I’m NOT LIKE THAT! I’m COOL!”

Today I’m thinking of going after some old hairband goodies like “When the Children Cry” by White Lion, “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White and “She’s Only Seventeen” by Winger and “Cherry Pie” by Warrant. Hey, was W a popular glamrock letter in the early 90’s or what?

I’ve already stocked up on Journey’s greatest hits, Huey Lewis and the News, Pat Benetar, Genesis, Skid Row, Guns N’ Roses, Def Leppard, etc. It’s down to one-hit wonders now. Any suggestions?

Finally, Defamer brought my attention to this awesome Top Ten list of Japanese commercials featuring American celebrities. They will make you shudder with shame until you remember that Michael J. Fox made 50 bajillion dollars to clip hedges in a faggy hat and get chased around by a fat lady. Fuck it, I’d do for 5 bajillion dollars, easy.

Have a prosh weekend!

September 11, 2007

Theme change already, Gosh!

Filed under: Penny, Slothyness — shhville @ 2:53 pm

So, what the crap? This blog used to be about me but that’s clearly not working out. I live and breathe my dog every single day. It’s all Penny all the time around here. Sofuggit. I’m changing the theme of this blog!

From now on it’s Penny’s Adventures in Slothville. With a little celebgoss thrown in here and there, I imagine.

First up: Please read the ballad of Penny and Elke here.

And yes, that is my name because, really, who cares? What’s the big secret all about? I’m not talking about sex or work or sex work or work sex so I don’t see the point of keeping my name a secret anymore.

And here is a weedio of Penny waking up this morning. Try not to die from the cute.

April 13, 2007

Snacking……

Filed under: Slothyness — shhville @ 3:27 pm

Sometimes, at 3 a.m., standing in the guilty glow of the refrigerator light, I wonder what a coroner would make of my stomach contents were I found bludgeoned in a dumpster the next morning.

Older Posts »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.