Ok, I have a tremendously upsetting issue that I need to discuss, but first off: GOOD MORNING!
Good, good. We are now fortified by the cute and can continue on to the following tragic tragedies: Scrolldowns From Hell.
Ok, I guess you don’t really have to scroll down for the disaster, the whole outfit is painful. A green sack with a cinched hem won’t look good on anyone – I don’t care if you’re Kate Moss or my grandmother. JLo could be wearing a broken umbrella and a traffic cone and look better than this. But that’s not even my problem. You KNOW what my problem is. The only way these shoes make sense is if Olive Oil got in a car accident and had to be fitted with robotic parts and then the trauma caused her to turn to sex work. Yep, these shoes would be perfect for Olive Oil Robohooker, but other than that….mmmmnuh.
Now, I wouldn’t say this to Tyra’s face, cuz that bitch will fuck a girl up, but unless her shoes have a day job in a cafeteria dishing out macaroni and cheese, they need to rethink the shower cap look. High-heeled booties? What is she, at a fashion crime scene? ……..well, yes, in fact…….hmm…..there’s a joke in here somewhere……
Ok, strangely enough, I’m actually feeling a little sorry for Jenna Jameson. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she looks like an anorexic duck. Something terrible has happened. She may need soothing of some kind. BUT THE SHOES DON’T HELP. Not only are they hideous, they make her legs look like scrawny old jogging man legs. That is not a good look, even for actual old jogging men.
Can we agree that there is a trend happening here? A terrifying, illogical trend that needs to be stopped? Penny and I are on board with this. If you see further examples, please let us know.